Common Mistakes Women Make in Relationships

couple sitting inside tepee hut with lights

By Christina

Ever feel as though you’re just going through the common steps in your relationships? You know the ones. You’ve heard the common mistakes from your friends. “He’s not listening”, “I don’t know how to pick the right guy!” Or “I don’t know who I am in this relationship.” 

Often we tend to look for something in relationships that is lacking within ourselves. I’ve done this before, being the baby in my family I have to have someone who is secure and confident but also cool with giving me all the attention. This settles my need for affection that I wasn’t getting growing up.

In an article on Upworthy, Tod Perry discusses how anxious and avoidant individuals attract to each other like magnets. When you’re done here give it a read.  

Which is so true and sometimes scary. Ever hear “You marry someone like your father.” 

Give yourself a break, and do some inner work before you do something drastic like swear off relationships. 

One way to do the work on yourself is to think about a refreshment of your body, mind, and soul. I have simple tips to help you get started, read my article on Everything You Need to Feel Refreshed. (oh and there is a free download to help you get started)

Now let’s dive into the most common mistakes women make in relationships. 

In this article:

  • My story-mistakes in relationships
  • Common mistakes in relationships
  • How to fix common relationship mistakes
  • In the End
woman in gray coat leaning on metal bridge rail

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

My story-My mistakes in relationships

When I first started dating it was a complete crap show.

I didn’t know what I wanted or what a healthy relationship even smelled like. My only examples were the anti Leave It to Beaver parents.

My father was hardly at home, and my mom was not the most hands-on. She was more of an at arm’s length kind of mother, or as long as you don’t lose a limb or murder someone do what you want. 

My Latest post

How to Manage Your Cortisol Levels

How to Manage Your Cortisol Levels

Have you been struggling with stress levels?  Regardless of where your stress levels are right now, I’m providing you with simple tips to help you manage your cortisol levels and keep stress from taking over your life.  When you’re stressed out a lot of things can...

My first boyfriend was incredibly older than me. And so was my second. And my third. But why was I choosing men who were old enough to be either my younger uncle, professor, or young dad? (not that old, no more than 10 years older than me. )

 

It wasn’t until I decided to find myself in New Orleans that I realized I needed to change. That was the first time I dated someone only a year older than me. And he was a complete booger. There was only one thing he was interested in.  I was getting connectiosn with the older boyfriends whereas guys aound my age were not interested in long-term or deep. 

woman in black and white dress sitting on concrete stairs
woman in brown shirt covering her face

Result of Ending the Relationship

That younger boyfriend made me realize I was lacking something within, real connections.  Having not had them in my youth, it was something I was searching for in my romantic relationships. 

 

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

woman sitting on cliff raising both hands

Common mistakes in relationships

Not taking care of yourself

According to a study conducted by psychology today, many people within relationships feel there is no self-care. Why? Because in a relationship there is no self without the other. 

The reason why many of us forget all about self-care is because we tend to lose ourselves in the relationship. We become dependent of our partners and forget all about how to be independent. Independence isn’t always a bad thing and doesn’t mean you want out of your relationship. 

 

 

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

woman sitting on dock near body of water
woman standing on flower field

History moment

For centuries women lost their identities in their marriages. They tended to not have one before they were married, absorbing what their mothers taught them. Learn how to keep house, take care of your husband, and then do the same with your daughter. 

Now, I’m not saying it isn’t ok to take care of your husband, do what you want but don’t lose you. Taking a break from your partner for an hour or two isn’t terrible or means you are neglecting the relationship. Remember if you take care of yourself, you are in turn taking care of “the both of you.

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

spring adventure

Losing your identity

The beginning of a relationship we are punch drunk with the honeymoon stage. 

If you’ve ever seen Runaway Bride then this will make a ton of sense, the main character played by Julia Roberts, didn’t know how she liked her eggs. Why? She liked the eggs her partner liked, and that changed in each relationship. 

When you get into a relationship keep doing the things you love. Make time for you and your friends.  Don’t stopy being you. 

French lifestyle
writing & lifestyle

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

It’s totally normal

Psych Central suggests you do some self-discovery to uncover the reasons why you only do what your partner wants or why you tend to prioritize your partner’s needs over yours. In my post about spiritual refresh, you’ll find tips to help you dive deep into your self-discovery. Don’t forget to download your free refresh plan.

 

couple sitting inside tepee hut with lights

Waiting for the perfect relationship

I get it, I fell victim to the fairytale fantasy as well. I mean of course, there is a prince out there looking for me, and he is going to come and take me away. In reality, the chances of that happening are well, 1 in a billion. (I’m guessing)

The perfect relationship doesn’t exist. 

All relationships are hard work, and just like a garden, they need a ton of maintenance.  It’s up to you and your partner to make it perfect. 

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

woman leaning on wall while sitting on bed

Individual isn’t bad

As your relationship continues to evolve out of the honeymoon phase, this is a good opportunity for you and your partner to discover your couple’s identity and your identity. It’s ok to be separate people. 

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

man and woman sitting on beach during golden hour

Not knowing who you are. 

To be or not to be? While that means to exist or not, it could very well refer to self-identity. If you have no idea who you are, what you like, or where you want to go in life, then you’ll probably find you’re rotating from relationship to relationship.

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

silhouette of man and woman on hill
person holding white ceramic mug

How to fix common relationship mistakes

Communication is still the best way to get solutions to these and other common relationship mistakes. 

It is through communication that you can stay connected and feel intimate with your partner. 

If you want the relationship to go the distance then effective communication should be the priority.

Rediscover you, and how you have grown as a human. In my articles about self-refresh, this is exactly what I mean. We all evolve and grow in many ways. But sometimes the changes we make are due to other factors such as childhood trama or what you’ve experienced as an adult. Taking the time to reflect on why you choose the things you do will help you fix common relationship mistakes. 

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

In the End

Regardless of why you end up circling the relationship drain these mistakes are common and we are all guilty of having done one or two, or even all of them. 

Remember if you want to solve your relationship mistakes, remember what it is you love about yourself, and your partner. Ask yourself where the mistakes stem from, and then take action to improve. Be honest with yourself and with your partner, and enjoy rediscovering you and the excitement of your relationship. 

 

christina q writes

More like this

How to Manage Your Cortisol Levels

How to Manage Your Cortisol Levels

Have you been struggling with stress levels?  Regardless of where your stress levels are right now, I’m providing you with simple tips to help you manage your cortisol levels and keep stress from taking over your life.  When you’re stressed out a lot of things can...

Empowering Women: Building Strategies for Mental Refresh

Empowering Women: Building Strategies for Mental Refresh

We’ve reached our final Spring Refresh Wellness Challange! Pat on the back for those who’ve made it this far! Today we are focusing on Empowering Women through Mental Refresh. For centuries women’s mental health was not something that was taken seriously in the...

Ready to Live a More Simple Life?

Sign up and get your dose of Christina’s secret tips, advice, and hard learned-lessons. Grab a cup of coffee, get cosy and let’s do this!

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hi, I’m Christina

how i'm managing my anxiety

I’m the coffee-addicted creative behind Christina Q. Writes. As a full-time writer and lover of history, I share insights into my crazy wonderful life.  Christina Q. Writes is where I share tips and advice to help you live simply and in the moment, and do it your way. Don’t be afraid to laugh at my mistakes!